


Didn't I My Dear

by CommanderHeartThrob



Series: The 100 One Shots [5]
Category: The 100
Genre: Clexa Pickup Lines, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHeartThrob/pseuds/CommanderHeartThrob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Lexa uses shitty pickup lines in an attempt to court and woo Clarke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Didn't I My Dear

**Author's Note:**

> 16 pickup lines down, 6 to go. Although I might include them in other one-shots. I hope you enjoy this nonsense!

————————————

“Hey, Clarke?” Lexa asked, walking into her tent.

“Yes, Commander?” Clarke replied, looking up from her map.

“Are you feeling down? Because I could feel you up.” Lexa asked sincerely as she looked into Clarke’s eyes. A giggle erupted from the doorway and Clarke quickly stood, a light pink blush creeping over her face.

“Lexa, who told you to say that?” Clarke asked sternly, adjusting her jacket to keep her hands occupied.

“I had asked Octavia how to court you and she had given me a list of things to say when trying to woo you.” Lexa replied, a confused look etched into her features.

“Octavia Blake, I am going to destroy you.” Clarke yelled, and the laughing outside of the commander’s tent quickly came to a halt. Clarke stormed out of the tent, allowing a reassuring hand to graze Lexa’s arm as she left.

————————————

“Clarke, I need a map,” Lexa called as she entered her tent. Clarke quickly rose to her feet before searching the table for one.

“May I ask what you need one for, commander?” Clarke asked, unaware of the fact that Lexa had moved to her side. She was startled when she heard her voice once again.

“Because, Klark kom skaikru, I am lost in your eyes.” Lexa replied, placing her finger under Clarke’s chin and turning her head until their eyes met.

“You know, hearing these pickup lines on the Ark disgusted me. Why is it that, when you say them, I practically melt in your arms?” Clarke asked, amazed at what Lexa could do to her.

————————————

“Klak kom skaikru?” Lexa asked in her native tongue.

“Yes commander?” Clarke replied, taking a step closer to the taller, green eyed girl.

“There’s a big sale in my bedroom tonight. All clothes will be one hundred percent off.” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s ear before quickly walking away and taking her rightful spot on her throne. She only looked up at Clarke once to see a bright pink blush creep over her face. Lexa wore a triumphant smirk as she looked back to her disciples.

————————————

“I’m getting really tired of mending your clothes, Lexa.” Clarke exhaled as she pulled the fabric between her hands closer to her. Every time Lexa trained, she would return with her clothes torn, and slight cuts and bruises scattered across her torso.

“Well then you should stop ripping them off of me, Clarke.”Lexa replied, smirking at herself.

“Well maybe you should stop doing that thing that makes me want to rip them off of you.” Clarke replied, her voice huskier than she had expected it to be.

“And what would that be, exactly?” Lexa asked, lustful weakness seeping through her voice. Clarke leaned close, her lip grazing Lexa’s ear.

“Wearing them,” she whispered, before finishing her mend on Lexa’s shoulder and walking away, glancing back to look at the flustered look on the commander's face before leaving the tent and joining Octavia by the fire.

————————————

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, looking up from her seat on the throne.

“For fucks sake, Lexa, no.” Clarke replied, seeing the look on Lexa’s face.

“Is your name Adele...” the commander asked, placing her hands in her lap.

“Are you high? You just said my name.” Clarke replied, scoffing, as she cut Lexa off.

“Cause I can tell you want to be rolling in the D.” Lexa smiled widely as she finished her thought.

“LEXA, YOU DON’T HAVE A D.” Clarke laughed, looking at Lexa lovingly.

“What is a ‘D’?” Lexa asked, confused.

“Who told you to say that?” Clarke responded, placing a hand on Lexa’s knee.

“OCTAVIA!!!” The commander yelled as she rose from her seat and stormed out of the tent.

“Lexa, wait. Come back!!” Clarke yelled, chasing after her.

————————————

“Clarke, My servers might not go down, but I do.” Lexa said, stumbling over her words as she tried to remember everything Raven had told her to say.

“Do you even know what that means?” Clarke asked, amused.

“Yes... No... I don’t know. Your mechanic friend told me to say it.” Lexa replied, flustered, as she threw herself down onto her furs before letting out a defeated sigh.

————————————

“Hey, Clarke?” Lexa asked, a sly smirk etched into her lips.

“Yes, Lexa?” Clarke replied, cautiously.

“Your clothes are making me uncomfortable. Can you take them off?” Lexa smirked as Clarke grabbed her forearm and ushered her into the tent.

“What is it, Clarke kom skai kru?” Lexa asked, concerned.

“You’re not the only one who thinks someone's clothes are making you uncomfortable, Heda.” Clarke quickly replied, throwing her arms around Lexa’s neck and pulling her close, letting their lips crash together in an instant.

————————————

“So, Lexa. When am I getting a throne?” Clarke asked, pacing around the commander’s tent.

“You already have one, Clarke. It’s my face.” Lexa replied, never breaking her serious facade. She earned harsh glances from her generals as a blush crept onto Clarke’s cheeks.

————————————

“You look pretty, Clarke.” Lexa said, letting her thoughts slip as she stared at the girl sitting next to her.

“What?” Clarke asked, only half paying attention to the girl beside her. _Did the commander just tell me that I look **pretty**?_

“I said you look shitty.” Lexa said, quickly covering up her mistake before standing up and hurrying out of the Ark’s medical ward.

————————————

“People call me the Commander, Clarke, but you can call me later tonight.” Lexa said, smirking at the smaller girl.

“And how would I go about doing that, Commander?” Clarke replied, leaning against the large wooden table that rests in the middle of the commander’s tent.

“Scream my name; It’s what you’ll be doing the rest of the night, anyway.” Lexa replied. A large grin creeping onto her lips as she watched the blush creep onto Clarke’s face.

“Right. Okay. Yeah” Clarke stuttered, looking down at her feet before forming a coherent sentence. “That sounds like a plan,” She manage to say, placing a hand on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Oh, and Clarke?” Lexa replied.

“Yes, Commander?”

“I just thought you should know that I’m completely naked under this armor.” Lexa smiled triumphantly, yet it was a beat too soon.

“Not happening right now, babe.” Clarke replied, placing a chaste kiss upon Lexa’s cheek, slightly smearing her warpaint, before getting back to work.

————————————

“Hey, Clarke?” Lexa called, entering the medical ward of the Ark.

“Yes, Lexa?” Clarke replied before seeing the grin plastered on Lexa’s face. “Oh no, not again.”

“Are you google? Because I just found what I was searching for.” The commander replied, pulling a small bunch of flowers out from behind her back and reaching her arm out to hand them to Clarke.

“Awee... Wait, what’s google?” Clarke replied, taking the flowers and pulling them close.

“I do not know... Monty told me that saying it would assist me in wooing you.” Lexa replied stepping forward before placing a palm to the back of her neck awkwardly.

“This needs to stop.” Clarke responded, laughing, before taking Lexa’s hand in her own.

————————————

“Hey Clarke?” Lexa asked, stepping closer to the slightly smaller girl.

“Please, Lexa. For the love of god, stop,” Clarke jumped in.

“If beauty were time….” Lexa continued anyway.

“You’re seriously going to do this?” Clarke asked, cutting the taller girl off before looking up from her work.

“You would be an eternity.” Lexa finished, looking into Clarke’s deep blue eyes.

“Who told you that one?” Clarke asked sincerely. Lexa sat for a moment, hesitating.

“Chancellor Griffin.”

————————————

“Hey Clarke?” Lexa asked, a skip in her step as she walked into the large tent they now shared.

“Oh, god. Did Octavia give you more lines to try out?” Clarke asked hesitantly.

“You are the most beautiful broom in a broom closet full of brooms.” Lexa replied, smirking. She made a mental note to thank the mechanic later.

———————————

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, walking into the tent with a large grin on her face.

“Oh god, not this again.” Clarke replied, rising from her spot on Lexa’s throne, preparing for what was to come.

“Good gracious, ass bodacious, flirta—” Lexa started reciting before being cut off by the blonde that now stood before her.

“Woah, woah, woah, Stop. What’s happening?” Clarke asked, amused.

“I ran out of lines, so Raven gave me poetry to recite when wooing you.” Lexa replied, confusion laced in her voice.

“This is a nightmare.” Clarke responded quickly, placing a hand to her forehead.

“Clarke, what are apple bottom jeans?” Lexa asked, even more confused than she had been previously.

———————————

 

 


End file.
